The Apartment (1960) Poster


Shirley MacLaine: Fran Kubelik



  • [last lines] 

    C.C. Baxter : You hear what I said, Miss Kubelik? I absolutely adore you.

    Fran Kubelik : Shut up and deal...

  • C.C. Baxter : The mirror... it's broken.

    Fran Kubelik : Yes, I know. I like it that way. Makes me look the way I feel.

  • Fran Kubelik : When you're in love with a married man, you shouldn't wear mascara.

  • Fran Kubelik : He's a taker.

    C.C. Baxter : A what?

    Fran Kubelik : Some people take, some people get took. And they know they're getting took and there's nothing they can do about it.

  • C.C. Baxter : I know how you feel, Miss Kubelik. You think it's the end of the world - but it's not, really. I went through exactly the same thing myself.

    Fran Kubelik : You did?

    C.C. Baxter : Well, maybe not exactly - I tried to do it with a gun.

    Fran Kubelik : Over a girl?

    C.C. Baxter : Worse than that - She was the wife of my best friend. And I was mad for her, but I knew it was hopeless. So I decided to end it all. I went to a pawnshop and bought a forty-five automatic and drove up to Eden Park. Do you know Cincinnati?

    Fran Kubelik : No, I don't.

    C.C. Baxter : Anyway, I parked the car and loaded the gun... Well, you read in the papers all the time that people shoot themselves, but believe me, it's not that easy. I mean, how do you do it?

    [cocks his finger, and points to his temple] 

    C.C. Baxter : Here?

    [points to his mouth] 

    C.C. Baxter : Or here?

    [points to his chest] 

    C.C. Baxter : Or here? You know where I finally shot myself?

    Fran Kubelik : Where?

    C.C. Baxter : [indicating kneecap]  Here.

    Fran Kubelik : In the knee?

    C.C. Baxter : Uh-huh. While I was sitting there, trying to make my mind up, a cop stuck his head in the car, because I was illegally parked. So I started to hide the gun under the seat and it went off - pow!

    Fran Kubelik : [laughing]  That's terrible.

    C.C. Baxter : Yeah. Took me a year before I could bend my knee - but I got over the girl in three weeks. She still lives in Cincinnati, has four kids, gained twenty pounds. She sends me a fruit cake every Christmas.

  • Fran Kubelik : Why do people have to love people anyway?

  • Fran Kubelik : Would you mind opening the window?

    C.C. Baxter : Now don't go getting any ideas, Miss Kubelik.

    Fran Kubelik : I just want some fresh air.

    C.C. Baxter : It's only one story down. The best you can do is break a leg.

    Fran Kubelik : So they'll shoot me - like a horse.

    C.C. Baxter : Please, Miss Kubelik, you got to promise me you won't do anything foolish.

    Fran Kubelik : Who'd care?

    C.C. Baxter : I would.

    Fran Kubelik : Why can't I ever fall in love with someone nice like you?

  • Fran Kubelik : I never catch colds.

    C.C. Baxter : Really? I was reading some figures from the Sickness and Accident Claims Division. You know that the average New Yorker between the ages of twenty and fifty has two and a half colds a year?

    Fran Kubelik : That makes me feel just terrible.

    C.C. Baxter : Why?

    Fran Kubelik : Well, to make the figures come out even, if I have no colds a year, some poor slob must have five colds a year.

    C.C. Baxter : [sheepishly]  Yeah... it's me.

  • Fran Kubelik : Just because I wear a uniform doesn't make me a girl scout.

  • Fran Kubelik : I was jinxed from the word go. The first time I was ever kissed was in a cemetery.

  • Fran Kubelik : I'd like to spell it out for you... only I can't spell!

  • Fran Kubelik : You fool. You damn fool.

  • Fran Kubelik : What's a tennis racket doing in the kitchen?

    C.C. Baxter : Tennis racket? Oh, I remember, I was cooking myself an Italian dinner.

    [Fran looks confused] 

    C.C. Baxter : I use it to strain the spaghetti.

  • Fran Kubelik : Shall I light the candles?

    C.C. Baxter : It's a must! Gracious living-wise.

See also

Release Dates | Official Sites | Company Credits | Filming & Production | Technical Specs

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