Richard Griffiths: Uncle Vernon Dursley
Uncle Vernon : He will not be going, I tell you! We swore when we took him in we'd put a stop to all this rubbish!
Harry : You knew? You knew all along and you never told me?
Aunt Petunia : Of course we knew. How could you not be? My perfect sister being who she was. My mother and father were so proud the day she got her letter. "We have a witch in the family. Isn't it wonderful?" I was the only one to see her for what she was... a freak! And then she met that Potter. And then she had you, and I knew you would be the same. Just as strange, just as... abnormal. And then if you please, she went and got herself blown up, and we got landed with you.
Harry : Blown up? You told me my parents died in a car crash!
Hagrid : A car crash? A car crash kill Lily and James Potter?
Aunt Petunia : We had to say something.
Hagrid : It's an outrage! It's a scandal!
Uncle Vernon : He'll not be going!
Hagrid : Oh, and I suppose a great muggle like yourself's gonna stop him, are ya?
Harry : [writing HAPPY BIRTHDAY HARRY on the sand-like floor of the boat he and the Dursley's are in] Make a wish, Harry.
[looks at Dudley's watch, it is now his birthday, and blows on the dusty, sand-like floor, when someone is trying to break in, which wakes Dudley up]
Uncle Vernon : [come's into Dudley and Harry's room with a rifle and Aunt Petunia] Who's there?
[the door breaks open, and everyone screams in terror]
Hagrid : Sorry about that.
[puts door back on]
Uncle Vernon : I demand that you leave at once! You are breaking an entry!
Hagrid : [walks over to Vernon] Dry up, Dursley, you great prune!
[bends the rifle's end up and Vernon shoots and walks over to Dudley]
Hagrid : Boy, I hasn't seen yeh since you was a baby, Harry, but you're a little bit longer that I expected, especially right in the middle.
Dudley Dursley : I-I'm not Harry.
Harry : [walks over to Hagrid] I am.
Hagrid : Well, of course you are. Got somethin' for yeh, 'fraid I may have sat on it at some point, but I imagine it'll taste just the same.
[gives Harry a box]
Hagrid : Painted it myself, words and all.
[Dudley looks jealous]
Harry : [opens the box, to reveal a cake that says HAPPEE BIRTHDAE HARRY on it] Thank you.
Hagrid : It's not every day your young man turns eleven, eh?
Uncle Vernon : [to Harry] There's no such thing as magic!